Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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