put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
