Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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