dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize