I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize