I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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