last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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