so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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