Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I touched a dick in church today
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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