I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
