just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
