Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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