you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
