I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
