4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
