Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
