I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
