I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
