he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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