Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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