Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
