I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
