She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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