Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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