oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize