Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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