Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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