My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
