ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize