they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
