is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
