I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Randomize
