I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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