I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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