We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
