I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
