Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize