She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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