paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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