i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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