hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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