Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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