I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
