i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
