I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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