1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
