guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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