Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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