need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
