How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
