Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
