he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Come on in and take your pants off
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