She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
