We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Welp...herpes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
