At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize