Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
