There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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