I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
