Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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