jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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