We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
