You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize