she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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