How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What a dumb baby whore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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